Did you know it's possible to have perfect action and still have wrong motives?
Wow, I've been hit hard by that realization this week. For several years now I've been in the process of discovering how to operate in the Adam Process. I've learned how to ask questions, how to "draw" from people, and how to coach them to another level of development. However, this week for the first time I think I've finally come face to face with the fact that often my motives have been wrong. It's the challenge of being a change addict. You become so addicted to change and seeing change in other people... that you forget about the people. The change becomes your goal, you become so focused on seeing the product change that you forget about the people along the way.
It's a hard thing to realize that you've taught people what to do, but you've never bothered to really slow down and help them discover why to do. I get in such a hurry trying to yield greater results from my team, to get further down the road, all the while sacrificing their development for the sake of their development. Yes I meant to type that twice. Because I had figured out in my mind where they needed to be and what they needed to be doing then everything I did was to manipulate them to be where I wanted them to be so that they could change. It did yield change, but the problem is I've now positioned myself to where those same people now have to have me there to change. Obviously that's not 100% true, but I have established a system that depends on me for continuous growth and development.
Basically I set myself up as God and Holy Ghost speaking into their life without even realize that that is what I was doing. I failed to teach them how to grow and change for themselves and instead created a dependency on me to interpret their thoughts, actions, and feelings. Instead of me allowing them to learn to sort through their own development, I became a "demi-god" that sorted through them for them. Yes it hurt bad to realize this, and now begins the long journey of de-positioning myself so that they can now discover how to learn on their own.
It's amazing how we go from one glory of revelation to another. How we start by a mental ascent and even a strong "understanding" of the strategies and techniques, but it takes running into the fullness of the revelation to understand that you aren't even close to having the right heart and actually using your strengths effectively.
Here's to long fun journeys!
Ken
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
Tuesday, July 08, 2008
Freezing up!
As I write this I'm in a condo house at the beach. Now normally this is supposed to be a fun experience and extremely relaxing... and so far it has been... the only problem is that our A/C is out. As I sit and type this I'm sweating profusely. It's 82 degrees in the house. Here's what is so strange though... it's because the A/C is frozen. How is it that something supposed to get me cool is making me hot by literally freezing over?
And your mind is racing... what in the world does this have to do with me?
Everything. Did you know that inside of you is everything you need to be able to dramatically cool off your world? God has put a gift inside of you to be able to pour refreshing into the world around you... here's the problem ... you're frozen up. At least many of us are. We are so focused on ourselves... the components that keep us cool that we have locked ourselves down. I have seen ministers who became so consumed with what God was doing inside of them that they refused to go "OUT"! I'm glad that you have the coldest and most refreshing revelation inside of you, I'm excited that you are a terrific machine that can cool almost anything... but let me tell you... if you don't release the air out of yourself you will freeze up! The problem is a lack of freon.
Many of us have great revelation, great wisdom, and great ideas... but it's the ability to release the revelation without freezing up. Freezing up is not just freezing up in your message delivery. It's freezing up because you don't know how to release to other people what is on the inside of you. Maybe you don't trust people, maybe you don't know how to activate them, and maybe you think you are addressing them but you aren't seeing results. Anything that exists for itself will eventually die. If you are not existing for other people to not only receive nourishment, but also to receive empowerment then you are headed toward freezing up. If you get bogged down inside yourself and you are not passing off the responsibility inside of you then you are freezing up. And before long you will exist only for yourself and will be completely locked down.
So here's the goal. GET FREE-ON. Get free of your dependency on yourself... learn to trust your team. Get free of your paranoia and arrogance that only you can do great things... Get free of your internal focus and focus on how to best deliver what's inside of you to other people... both refreshment and also empowerment. Activate your team, let go of your grip on all the power, and TRUST GOD... and other people!
And your mind is racing... what in the world does this have to do with me?
Everything. Did you know that inside of you is everything you need to be able to dramatically cool off your world? God has put a gift inside of you to be able to pour refreshing into the world around you... here's the problem ... you're frozen up. At least many of us are. We are so focused on ourselves... the components that keep us cool that we have locked ourselves down. I have seen ministers who became so consumed with what God was doing inside of them that they refused to go "OUT"! I'm glad that you have the coldest and most refreshing revelation inside of you, I'm excited that you are a terrific machine that can cool almost anything... but let me tell you... if you don't release the air out of yourself you will freeze up! The problem is a lack of freon.
Many of us have great revelation, great wisdom, and great ideas... but it's the ability to release the revelation without freezing up. Freezing up is not just freezing up in your message delivery. It's freezing up because you don't know how to release to other people what is on the inside of you. Maybe you don't trust people, maybe you don't know how to activate them, and maybe you think you are addressing them but you aren't seeing results. Anything that exists for itself will eventually die. If you are not existing for other people to not only receive nourishment, but also to receive empowerment then you are headed toward freezing up. If you get bogged down inside yourself and you are not passing off the responsibility inside of you then you are freezing up. And before long you will exist only for yourself and will be completely locked down.
So here's the goal. GET FREE-ON. Get free of your dependency on yourself... learn to trust your team. Get free of your paranoia and arrogance that only you can do great things... Get free of your internal focus and focus on how to best deliver what's inside of you to other people... both refreshment and also empowerment. Activate your team, let go of your grip on all the power, and TRUST GOD... and other people!
Monday, July 07, 2008
Performance vs Leadership
Recently, I've been evaluating what makes a great leader. I think for years I have subtly had a perception that great leaders are people who get the job done. They are able to be QB and make the decisions that get the ball into the right person's hand at the right time to score the touchdown. But the more I work pursue leadership the more I find out the subtle problems that accompany this mindset. Without a doubt there are fundamentals that we should all be able to accomplish, but being a great QB doesn't make me a terrific leader.
Think about those leaders that you see as great... there's our problem. Most of our standard of great leadership is based off of how many people they have following them. Here is what I'm finding though... What is the level of leadership of the people following them? This is quite a challenging question, because if you can't define what leadership is to begin with it can make it quite difficult to assess the level of leadership of the person's followers.
Let's look a little closer. If we have a QB mentality the the ball always has to pass through our hands. Every play is dependent upon us and our ability. Every success becomes our success and every failure becomes our failure.
What I am struggling, straining, and striving to move towards is becoming a coach. See a coach knows all the positions. He knows the fundamentals that make people a success at every position, although he himself may never have played the position "professionally". But it's difficult to move from QB to Coach.
For those few people that have made the transition to coach, the hard part is training assistant coaches. For many of us, we make the initial move to coaching our teams, but we fail to ever build a structure that sets us up to coach coaches instead of just players. IF WE ALWAYS COACH PLAYERS WE ARE REALLY JUST QB'ING FROM THE SIDELINE!!! We must establish a structure that allows us to coach other coaches and develop them to coach players.
Of course recognizing that you need to make them coaches and actually making them coaches are two very different things. You can't just warp yourself to success, you have to move from where you are to where you're going... and that is a blog for another day!
Think about those leaders that you see as great... there's our problem. Most of our standard of great leadership is based off of how many people they have following them. Here is what I'm finding though... What is the level of leadership of the people following them? This is quite a challenging question, because if you can't define what leadership is to begin with it can make it quite difficult to assess the level of leadership of the person's followers.
Let's look a little closer. If we have a QB mentality the the ball always has to pass through our hands. Every play is dependent upon us and our ability. Every success becomes our success and every failure becomes our failure.
What I am struggling, straining, and striving to move towards is becoming a coach. See a coach knows all the positions. He knows the fundamentals that make people a success at every position, although he himself may never have played the position "professionally". But it's difficult to move from QB to Coach.
For those few people that have made the transition to coach, the hard part is training assistant coaches. For many of us, we make the initial move to coaching our teams, but we fail to ever build a structure that sets us up to coach coaches instead of just players. IF WE ALWAYS COACH PLAYERS WE ARE REALLY JUST QB'ING FROM THE SIDELINE!!! We must establish a structure that allows us to coach other coaches and develop them to coach players.
Of course recognizing that you need to make them coaches and actually making them coaches are two very different things. You can't just warp yourself to success, you have to move from where you are to where you're going... and that is a blog for another day!
Wednesday, July 02, 2008
One year and 57 days later the journey continues
So it has been a long long journey. Wow.
It's amazing how one single event in your life can turn your entire world so upside down that it changes everything about how you act, what you do, and even to some extent who you think you are. Since the last time I posted so many things have changed... but I'm excited to be back.
Change Addicts will be taking on an additional flavor to our mix. New authors will be joining us as well as some new topics. This is going to become a full fledge coaching blog for leaders from around the world. Here you will get practical training in how to be better facilitators, better communicators, and better leaders. It's certainly not that I have all the answers, but in this community there will be voices to help you refine not only your theory but your strategy as you take on every aspect of your individual journey.
You will see lesson plans for coaching children and teenagers, you will hear techniques on how to deal with specific situations and of course you'll have your usual inciting blogs by yours truly! I'm excited... I can't wait to see what kind of community we create this time. I'll introduce you to our new authors as you meet them and I look forward to meeting you as well!
So post your heart out, share your true feelings, and don't hold anything back... let's take a leap and unveil the true revolution that God has called us to!
It's amazing how one single event in your life can turn your entire world so upside down that it changes everything about how you act, what you do, and even to some extent who you think you are. Since the last time I posted so many things have changed... but I'm excited to be back.
Change Addicts will be taking on an additional flavor to our mix. New authors will be joining us as well as some new topics. This is going to become a full fledge coaching blog for leaders from around the world. Here you will get practical training in how to be better facilitators, better communicators, and better leaders. It's certainly not that I have all the answers, but in this community there will be voices to help you refine not only your theory but your strategy as you take on every aspect of your individual journey.
You will see lesson plans for coaching children and teenagers, you will hear techniques on how to deal with specific situations and of course you'll have your usual inciting blogs by yours truly! I'm excited... I can't wait to see what kind of community we create this time. I'll introduce you to our new authors as you meet them and I look forward to meeting you as well!
So post your heart out, share your true feelings, and don't hold anything back... let's take a leap and unveil the true revolution that God has called us to!
Sunday, May 06, 2007
Strategies for dealing with Noise
In ever communication environment there is noise. Think of noise as any thing that is inbetween you and the receiver of your communication that distracts, garbles, or silences your message. For example if you are reading this post in a room with a tv on or maybe itunes playing in the background, then they are creating noise to the message that I am sending you. Now not all noise is bad and some can even be used effectively as a positive incentive. It creates an environment conducive to you receiving. But alot of times noise is distracting and steals impact from the very message that we think we are so eloquently communicating.
In a conference I spoke at this last week I was able to layout some strategies for dealing with noise. I just wanted to pass on a few of these while they are on my mind.
#1. Find Niche markets.
- If you can find silent markets then suddenly it's a whole lot easier to communicate your message. We are exposed to an estimated 10,000 brand messages a day. The more you can isolate a person receiving your message then the more powerful the message. Or at least the more likely it is that the message will not be garbled and miscommunicated to the receiver.
#2. Use the surrounding noise to amplify your message.
- All messages are communicated through a medium. If you can find the "frequency" of your medium then you can actually amplify your message by properly shaping the noise around it. These messages are often the most effective ones because you literally are emersing the person in the full experience of the message. And immersion deals with other marketing obstacles (we'll be talking about these in the coming weeks).
#3. Consistent Messaging
- Try to send the same message repeatedly but through different mediums and different ways. For example, if I have you to think of a dog, I imagine that each one of you will picture a very different looking dog. Some may picture a husky, others a little small lap dog, and still others an enormous great dane. By communicating the message of a dog to you in different mediums with increased descriptions of the message then it becomes clearer and clearer each time. And with each message that I send the more consistent I can be the more likely I am to get my message clearly through the noise.
#4. Clear Identity
- Finally, it is much easier to communicate who you are than it is something that you aren't. The clearer you understand your personal "identity" the easier it is to market that identity. I truly believe that God has made each one of us totally and significaltly unique. And somewhere or somehow I am so unique that no one else can compete with me in that area. However, it is challenging to find that blend if you don't know you are. Think of starbucks... they aren't trying to beat foldgers coffee, because their identity is not wrapped up in home coffee... they are selling you an experience and a social status and that is WHO they are. In the same way, you have some way that you can create a unique niche based on your unique identity. Start to discover your identity now and you will find that marketing is easy when you know WHO and WHY you are.
These are just a few ways to overcome noise. I"m sure there are tons of other options, but these are some ways that I know work.
For more info send your comments in and keep on changing!
In a conference I spoke at this last week I was able to layout some strategies for dealing with noise. I just wanted to pass on a few of these while they are on my mind.
#1. Find Niche markets.
- If you can find silent markets then suddenly it's a whole lot easier to communicate your message. We are exposed to an estimated 10,000 brand messages a day. The more you can isolate a person receiving your message then the more powerful the message. Or at least the more likely it is that the message will not be garbled and miscommunicated to the receiver.
#2. Use the surrounding noise to amplify your message.
- All messages are communicated through a medium. If you can find the "frequency" of your medium then you can actually amplify your message by properly shaping the noise around it. These messages are often the most effective ones because you literally are emersing the person in the full experience of the message. And immersion deals with other marketing obstacles (we'll be talking about these in the coming weeks).
#3. Consistent Messaging
- Try to send the same message repeatedly but through different mediums and different ways. For example, if I have you to think of a dog, I imagine that each one of you will picture a very different looking dog. Some may picture a husky, others a little small lap dog, and still others an enormous great dane. By communicating the message of a dog to you in different mediums with increased descriptions of the message then it becomes clearer and clearer each time. And with each message that I send the more consistent I can be the more likely I am to get my message clearly through the noise.
#4. Clear Identity
- Finally, it is much easier to communicate who you are than it is something that you aren't. The clearer you understand your personal "identity" the easier it is to market that identity. I truly believe that God has made each one of us totally and significaltly unique. And somewhere or somehow I am so unique that no one else can compete with me in that area. However, it is challenging to find that blend if you don't know you are. Think of starbucks... they aren't trying to beat foldgers coffee, because their identity is not wrapped up in home coffee... they are selling you an experience and a social status and that is WHO they are. In the same way, you have some way that you can create a unique niche based on your unique identity. Start to discover your identity now and you will find that marketing is easy when you know WHO and WHY you are.
These are just a few ways to overcome noise. I"m sure there are tons of other options, but these are some ways that I know work.
For more info send your comments in and keep on changing!
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
I'm BACK IN THE SADDLE AGAIN!
Navigating change. OK it isn't so much navigating as it is sticking my head between my legs and hanging on for dear life.
Boy my life has been jumping here lately. First I lose a dear friendship, only to be followed by a years worth of work bounced into about one month, as well as my personal business taking off. It has been a wild few weeks... so needless to point out the blog has had a short sabbatical... BUT I'M BAAAACKKKK!!!
Radicals ROCK! I'm tired of tired people. I want you to think of 5 things right now that you have complained about in the past 24 hours. No... don't read anymore until you have thought of them.
I said stop reading and think of what you opened your mouth and whined about.
Now, one question. What in the heck did you do about them? I am tired of people whining about being "too tired" whining about not "working too much" whining about STUPID STUFF. If you don't like where you are then there is only one person who can change that. YOU!
If you are depressed, weak, and tired in this day and age it is because you haven't been able to connect what you are doing with purpose and only you can do that. Hopefully, you have a great leader who can help, but even if you work for the crappiest leader in the world it's not their fault. Only you can change where you are!
So get up and get your butt in gear. NEVER do I feel more alive than when I am right in the middle of a Pile of work that seems to be drowning me. It's where I thrive... and really if you were in your proper "place" you would too.
We sometimes forget that we are designed to work and that our true gifts don't show up when we are on "vacation" but rather when we are in the heat of the work and the battle.
So change your attitude. It's a choice. Get your butt in gear and do something different. STOP JUST COMPLAINING AND BECOME A WORLD CHANGER.
I warned you... I'm back. And things are different now. I'm tired of seeing my "caution" lead to people doing stupid stuff because I wouldn't tell them what I really think. So this is a NEW DAY. I hope you are ready for it... cause if you are addicted to change... then you are about to get one HUGE dose of it!
Boy my life has been jumping here lately. First I lose a dear friendship, only to be followed by a years worth of work bounced into about one month, as well as my personal business taking off. It has been a wild few weeks... so needless to point out the blog has had a short sabbatical... BUT I'M BAAAACKKKK!!!
Radicals ROCK! I'm tired of tired people. I want you to think of 5 things right now that you have complained about in the past 24 hours. No... don't read anymore until you have thought of them.
I said stop reading and think of what you opened your mouth and whined about.
Now, one question. What in the heck did you do about them? I am tired of people whining about being "too tired" whining about not "working too much" whining about STUPID STUFF. If you don't like where you are then there is only one person who can change that. YOU!
If you are depressed, weak, and tired in this day and age it is because you haven't been able to connect what you are doing with purpose and only you can do that. Hopefully, you have a great leader who can help, but even if you work for the crappiest leader in the world it's not their fault. Only you can change where you are!
So get up and get your butt in gear. NEVER do I feel more alive than when I am right in the middle of a Pile of work that seems to be drowning me. It's where I thrive... and really if you were in your proper "place" you would too.
We sometimes forget that we are designed to work and that our true gifts don't show up when we are on "vacation" but rather when we are in the heat of the work and the battle.
So change your attitude. It's a choice. Get your butt in gear and do something different. STOP JUST COMPLAINING AND BECOME A WORLD CHANGER.
I warned you... I'm back. And things are different now. I'm tired of seeing my "caution" lead to people doing stupid stuff because I wouldn't tell them what I really think. So this is a NEW DAY. I hope you are ready for it... cause if you are addicted to change... then you are about to get one HUGE dose of it!
Thursday, March 29, 2007
Here's to the ones...
The following is from an old apple/mac commercial. I don't think I ever heard it (at least not in a marking way) when it was originally produced. But something about the season that I am in right now in my life. The season that those around me are in. It just clicked. I'm sitting here and as I post it I'm on the verge of tears and I can't even tell you why.
Maybe it's inspiration, but it feels like something deeper. Like somehow I'm on the verge of something that is bigger than anything I've ever been connected to in my short existence. Like something so overwhelming is on the edge of breaking through in me and those around me that I will be swallowed up by it. I'll shut up now and let you read it. I want to know what it does to you... if that means nothing then at least tell me nothing.
(The one-minute commercial featured black and white video footage of significant historical people of the past, including (in order) Albert Einstein, Bob Dylan, Martin Luther King, Jr., Richard Branson, John Lennon, R. Buckminster Fuller, Thomas Edison, Muhammad Ali, Ted Turner, Maria Callas, Mahatma Gandhi, Amelia Earhart, Alfred Hitchcock, Martha Graham, Jim Henson (with Kermit the Frog), Frank Lloyd Wright and Picasso. The commercial ends with a young girl opening her closed eyes, as if to see the possibilities before her.)
To watch the full commercial check it out on youtube here.
Maybe it's inspiration, but it feels like something deeper. Like somehow I'm on the verge of something that is bigger than anything I've ever been connected to in my short existence. Like something so overwhelming is on the edge of breaking through in me and those around me that I will be swallowed up by it. I'll shut up now and let you read it. I want to know what it does to you... if that means nothing then at least tell me nothing.
- Here's to the crazy ones.
- The misfits.
- The rebels.
- The troublemakers.
- The round pegs in the square holes.
- The troublemakers.
- The rebels.
- The misfits.
- The ones who see things differently.
- They're not fond of rules
- And they have no respect for the status quo.
- You can praise them, quote them, disagree with them
- disbelieve them, glorify or vilify them.
- About the only thing that you can't do is ignore them.
- Because they change things.
- They invent. They imagine. They heal.
- They explore. They create. They inspire.
- They push the human race forward.
- Maybe they have to be crazy.
- How else can you stare at an empty canvas and see a work of art?
- Or sit in silence and hear a song that's never been written?
- Or gaze at a red planet and see a laboratory on wheels?
- We make tools for these kinds of people.
- While some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius.
- Because the people who are crazy enough to think that they can
- change the world, are the ones who do.
(The one-minute commercial featured black and white video footage of significant historical people of the past, including (in order) Albert Einstein, Bob Dylan, Martin Luther King, Jr., Richard Branson, John Lennon, R. Buckminster Fuller, Thomas Edison, Muhammad Ali, Ted Turner, Maria Callas, Mahatma Gandhi, Amelia Earhart, Alfred Hitchcock, Martha Graham, Jim Henson (with Kermit the Frog), Frank Lloyd Wright and Picasso. The commercial ends with a young girl opening her closed eyes, as if to see the possibilities before her.)
To watch the full commercial check it out on youtube here.
Wednesday, March 21, 2007
Questions
I am continually reminded of my own ignorance. My own inability to gauge people. I find that I can read people well, but I often have difficulty realizing just how they will respond when they are in that place. Over and over again I read a persons place correctly, what they are thinking and feeling, yet totally am blown away by their reactions from that place.
So this leads me to some questions. How do you have empathy?
Obviously empathy is not simply being able to read where a person is at and understand what they are going through. There must be another step that causes us to try to "put ourselves in their shoes" and understand what decisions they are going to make and the severity of those decisions.
My problem is I don't know how to do that. Because the emotion is not real to me, because I am not experiencing the same thing (no matter how hard I try) I simply cannot truly identify with the person enough to understand what decisions they will make.
Maybe one of you has some help for me. I certainly need it. Or maybe I don't? Who knows?
Maybe if I was able to be in their shoes it still wouldn't change anything... At any rate I want to know what you think.
So this leads me to some questions. How do you have empathy?
Obviously empathy is not simply being able to read where a person is at and understand what they are going through. There must be another step that causes us to try to "put ourselves in their shoes" and understand what decisions they are going to make and the severity of those decisions.
My problem is I don't know how to do that. Because the emotion is not real to me, because I am not experiencing the same thing (no matter how hard I try) I simply cannot truly identify with the person enough to understand what decisions they will make.
Maybe one of you has some help for me. I certainly need it. Or maybe I don't? Who knows?
Maybe if I was able to be in their shoes it still wouldn't change anything... At any rate I want to know what you think.
Tuesday, February 20, 2007
Insecurity vs In Security
Ever feel insecure? Ever seen it lead to major problems? I know I have and I know I've caused major problems because of my own insecurity. Somewhere we have to make a mental adjustment that takes us from "insecurity" to being "in security".
Let's start by looking at the word security. In Latin it comes from the words "se" for "without" and cura for "care". So it actually roots back to a word meaning without care.
The challenge that we face is knowing what to be secure in and what not to be secure in. There are some places that I truly believe a little bit of insecurity is warranted. As a matter of fact, I am finding that there are many things in my life that I have always thought were "bad" or "good" because that is the way that I was taught, that I am now finding have neither a negative or positive connotation.
The problem is that man has created the standard that determines "bad" or "good" so that anything we experience can only be evaluated by our own standards and what we know.
For example. Here in America we consider the word "damn" to be a cuss word. However, when I was 13 I went on a mission trip to Australia. Needless to say I was rather shocked to hear a political statesman speaking to a group of First graders use the word damn repeatedly. In their culture, the word has no differnt meaning that you and I saying "shoot" or any other word.
Suddenly, my very standard of measurement has been assaulted and the "rules system" that I live by has to be altered.
So here is the issue, insecurity comes when we derive our success and our existence by our ability to interpret the rules in front of us and feel that we are secure. It is following the law for fear of its consequences instead of following it in the faith of its outcomes.
See real security comes when you are comfortable with the rule maker. (Maybe you are the rule maker). As long as you are trying to conform to everyones rule then you will never be secure. Because as we have said before... you can fool some people all the time ... and all the people some of the timel.... but you just can't please or fool everyone all of the time!
I think the greatest challenge is looking at what it is that is assaulting our "rules system". Is it the way someone reveals who they really are... does that bother you? Is it the fact that they did something that broke your system of protocal. Maybe your system is messed up!
What was the last time someone broke your rules system and made you freakin uncomfortable? When was it that you got "assaulted" only to find out in retrospect that what they did wasn't near as bad as you saw it? Maybe you are even going through it right now... who has completely ticked you off lately... do you need to evaluate if its just them confronting a rules system in your life that is based merely on perception and tradition?
Just a thought! I want to know about you! I'll be looking forward to the comments.
Let's start by looking at the word security. In Latin it comes from the words "se" for "without" and cura for "care". So it actually roots back to a word meaning without care.
The challenge that we face is knowing what to be secure in and what not to be secure in. There are some places that I truly believe a little bit of insecurity is warranted. As a matter of fact, I am finding that there are many things in my life that I have always thought were "bad" or "good" because that is the way that I was taught, that I am now finding have neither a negative or positive connotation.
The problem is that man has created the standard that determines "bad" or "good" so that anything we experience can only be evaluated by our own standards and what we know.
For example. Here in America we consider the word "damn" to be a cuss word. However, when I was 13 I went on a mission trip to Australia. Needless to say I was rather shocked to hear a political statesman speaking to a group of First graders use the word damn repeatedly. In their culture, the word has no differnt meaning that you and I saying "shoot" or any other word.
Suddenly, my very standard of measurement has been assaulted and the "rules system" that I live by has to be altered.
So here is the issue, insecurity comes when we derive our success and our existence by our ability to interpret the rules in front of us and feel that we are secure. It is following the law for fear of its consequences instead of following it in the faith of its outcomes.
See real security comes when you are comfortable with the rule maker. (Maybe you are the rule maker). As long as you are trying to conform to everyones rule then you will never be secure. Because as we have said before... you can fool some people all the time ... and all the people some of the timel.... but you just can't please or fool everyone all of the time!
I think the greatest challenge is looking at what it is that is assaulting our "rules system". Is it the way someone reveals who they really are... does that bother you? Is it the fact that they did something that broke your system of protocal. Maybe your system is messed up!
What was the last time someone broke your rules system and made you freakin uncomfortable? When was it that you got "assaulted" only to find out in retrospect that what they did wasn't near as bad as you saw it? Maybe you are even going through it right now... who has completely ticked you off lately... do you need to evaluate if its just them confronting a rules system in your life that is based merely on perception and tradition?
Just a thought! I want to know about you! I'll be looking forward to the comments.
Thursday, February 15, 2007
Fear...
I thought I knew what fear was. I think my mistake was that I made it the same thing as intimidation. I was wrong.
I thought I was past simply being afraid... like a little kid that is afraid of the dark or someone who has a deathly fear of clowns. I was wrong.
When everything you have existed for and known is suddenly turned into a burning blaze of question marks... now I have a little more taste of fear.
It has been years since I dreaded the next moment ... the next breath... the next answer. Guess the wait didn't cure it.
I can't reveal why I'm in this fear (it's none of your business), but I will tell you this. It is humbling. It will take every beam of support that isn't truly founded and crush it upon the shores of life. It stirs up every dead thing from the ocean's floor and sends it crashing and mixing into what I thought was a crystal clear pool of life.
It is so odd. I used to would have said that fear was related to the unknown... but I'm finding it is much more based in the known. My fears manifest based on what I know (or at least what I think I know).
I think fear is good and bad and neither one all at the same time. There is a part of me that says if my fears go unconfirmed and that mercy and grace are manifested that it will be the most glorious thing I've ever seen. Another part of me wrenches in pain at the thoughts that my fears might be correct. And at the same time I realize that it isn't the outcomes that make the fear but the anticipation.
Maybe that's why they say the fear of the Lord is clean and as a sweet smelling savor. The expectation of His greatness will keep us in fear and trembling. The knowing how great He is and how frail and stupid I am.
I'm not condoning living a life in fear of satan... I'm saying that if you never become afraid you don't realize how precious the things that you actually have are. The question resides in what you let bring "fear" to your life.
At this very moment as I write this a fear that I haven't experienced... probably in my entire life... overwhelmes me, and at the same time I have the greatest respect and value for what I have, that I have had in my entire life.
Fragile... Fragile.... Fragile.... Everything is sooooo fragile and so priceless.
It takes you fr
I thought I was past simply being afraid... like a little kid that is afraid of the dark or someone who has a deathly fear of clowns. I was wrong.
When everything you have existed for and known is suddenly turned into a burning blaze of question marks... now I have a little more taste of fear.
It has been years since I dreaded the next moment ... the next breath... the next answer. Guess the wait didn't cure it.
I can't reveal why I'm in this fear (it's none of your business), but I will tell you this. It is humbling. It will take every beam of support that isn't truly founded and crush it upon the shores of life. It stirs up every dead thing from the ocean's floor and sends it crashing and mixing into what I thought was a crystal clear pool of life.
It is so odd. I used to would have said that fear was related to the unknown... but I'm finding it is much more based in the known. My fears manifest based on what I know (or at least what I think I know).
I think fear is good and bad and neither one all at the same time. There is a part of me that says if my fears go unconfirmed and that mercy and grace are manifested that it will be the most glorious thing I've ever seen. Another part of me wrenches in pain at the thoughts that my fears might be correct. And at the same time I realize that it isn't the outcomes that make the fear but the anticipation.
Maybe that's why they say the fear of the Lord is clean and as a sweet smelling savor. The expectation of His greatness will keep us in fear and trembling. The knowing how great He is and how frail and stupid I am.
I'm not condoning living a life in fear of satan... I'm saying that if you never become afraid you don't realize how precious the things that you actually have are. The question resides in what you let bring "fear" to your life.
At this very moment as I write this a fear that I haven't experienced... probably in my entire life... overwhelmes me, and at the same time I have the greatest respect and value for what I have, that I have had in my entire life.
Fragile... Fragile.... Fragile.... Everything is sooooo fragile and so priceless.
It takes you fr
Friday, February 09, 2007
Check this out!!!
Hey gang. I had a friend from work and a fellow blogger to send me the following link yesterday. After checking it out it has to be one of the best compilations on marketing that is out there! Check it out (especially the top ten!).
http://www.toddand.com/power150/
If you have questions about how to get it set to burn feeds to you your feedreaders just send me comments I'll be glad to help!
http://www.toddand.com/power150/
If you have questions about how to get it set to burn feeds to you your feedreaders just send me comments I'll be glad to help!
Wednesday, January 31, 2007
100th post!
Wow. We are already to our 100'th post!
In honor of the big Centennial, I want everyone to tell me what your favorite post you have read! If it's a comment that is fine too. Hopefully this post will get more comments than #99. I would love for everyone to at least give me something. Let me know what spurred you, what inspired you, what changed you, and what shook you... I want to know what made you mad, what made you sad, what made you glad!
Share with us some of the change you have experienced... hopefully some of it due to this blog since you started reading! Not that we are anything special here at Change Addicts, but we do care about those real addicts out there and knowing what has changed in your life!
Once again, thanks for your continued support and I look forward to much more to come of this in the months and years to come!
In honor of the big Centennial, I want everyone to tell me what your favorite post you have read! If it's a comment that is fine too. Hopefully this post will get more comments than #99. I would love for everyone to at least give me something. Let me know what spurred you, what inspired you, what changed you, and what shook you... I want to know what made you mad, what made you sad, what made you glad!
Share with us some of the change you have experienced... hopefully some of it due to this blog since you started reading! Not that we are anything special here at Change Addicts, but we do care about those real addicts out there and knowing what has changed in your life!
Once again, thanks for your continued support and I look forward to much more to come of this in the months and years to come!
Monday, January 29, 2007
Where I go nobody knows!
Softly stealing through the silent winter wood
the soft snow crunching the pines swaying heavy with ice.
Delightfully wonderous innocence... softly softly softly.
Stealing night, lonely and arrogant.
Blackness dancing the waltz upon each sill.
Sighs of delight no innocence just emptiness... stealing stealing stealing.
Bright blazing sun, blistered parched lips thirsty for dew.
A draft? A bird? no like innocence swiftly fleeting falling in minds
Painful sear, delightful tear, even salt moisture a delight ... bright bright bright.
Dark alleys, black nights
searing sun's, allah's light
cold winds dancing, drifting with each shimmer
hope on a horizon, miles miles miles.
single beacon shine
brighter fire climb
leap and dance chase me now
release this soul of mine
**** Anyone care to interpret?****
the soft snow crunching the pines swaying heavy with ice.
Delightfully wonderous innocence... softly softly softly.
Stealing night, lonely and arrogant.
Blackness dancing the waltz upon each sill.
Sighs of delight no innocence just emptiness... stealing stealing stealing.
Bright blazing sun, blistered parched lips thirsty for dew.
A draft? A bird? no like innocence swiftly fleeting falling in minds
Painful sear, delightful tear, even salt moisture a delight ... bright bright bright.
Dark alleys, black nights
searing sun's, allah's light
cold winds dancing, drifting with each shimmer
hope on a horizon, miles miles miles.
single beacon shine
brighter fire climb
leap and dance chase me now
release this soul of mine
**** Anyone care to interpret?****
Monday, January 22, 2007
American Idols
I must confess that I have idols in my life. No really don't laugh I do.
What is an idol? An idol is a representation of a "noun" that you have cast into stone or metal or some graven image that you worship.
I see the cogs turning... "where is this going?" you are thinking.
Well lets take a look at what it takes to make an idol. An idol first of all is made by fashioning an image of your "god", your "perfection". It is often times ornately designed and beautifully fashioned out of the most precious of metals.
I used to wonder why God said in the 10 commandments that the Isrealites should have "no graven image before them". I mean... would it not be good to have this graven image that helps remind you of Yahweh! Yet, when Aaron built the idol in the old testament it wasn't long until the earth was opening up and swallowing people.
So whats the problem with idols and what has that got to do with me?
Well idols create several problems. First of all the problem with idols is that they are fashioned/engraven into an unchanging form. The reason God didn't want the Isrealites having an idol is that he did not want to be stuck into acting only by one standard and having only a single facet that they could see him as. The Bible actually refers to God as the Lion of Judah and the Lamb of God all at the same time. If He is in a graven image... He cannot be both.
The second problem with idols is that we create them to be our standard of judgement. Therefore, we live our lives attempting to become an inanimate being. We hold ourselves to unmoving standards and before long create a hardened facade that never changes.
So blah blah blah... what makes this conversation about idols any different from all the others you have heard people talk about.
Well my problem is that I have made a person an idol. I didn't even realize I was doing it. As a matter of fact, anyone in my life that I feel like is a success I idolize them. I begin to put this permanent hardened image on them. I trap them into acting in a singular way and being hardened to my actions. Worship can be such a strange thing. In honoring a person I can actually harm them. That is why God is the only person that is worthy of my worship.
Let me explain. In the particular instance that I am thinking of, I put this person on such a pedastal that they became an idol in my life. I engraved them into being able to take anything, that my actions didn't affect them in any signficant way. That they were "above" me and my petty faults. And in no means is this a shot at them, but they weren't. The way I acted did matter. When I was rude to them it did hurt their feelings. It did bother them.
To build on this, because I made them an idol in my life, I needed to have their approval. I needed them to think that what I did was the "right" thing. I needed them to feed me my identity, my self value, and my worth.
So in a "sick" and "demented" way I would be completely and totally rude to this person while attempting to convince them that I was right. I needed their approval so badly that I hurt them time and time again without even knowing I was doing it. I would argue with them over and over hoping to prove to them that I was right so that they would give me the approval that I so desperately desired.
However, in looking back it wasn't that I was hardened towards them but in my mind I had hardened them towards me. In no way was this their fault. It didn't really even have anything to do with them specifically. It had everything to do with my own insecurity and my need to have their approval.
Since realizing this during this past weekend, I'm realizing more and more that I have idolized alot of people in my life. Probably not to the extent that I did this person, but certain areas of my life. I then strive to get people's approval in the areas that I have engraved them into. Even if it means hurting them, I need them to tell me "yes you did that right". Yes you are right!...
Yeah I know I'm sick... and really I may be one of the only people in the world who has done this... I can't see it at this point in anyone else. But I wanted to share it with you and see if anyone else could identfity at all.
So now I start the long road to recovery with the relationship with this particular person as well as a journey to tear down the other idols in my life.
What is an idol? An idol is a representation of a "noun" that you have cast into stone or metal or some graven image that you worship.
I see the cogs turning... "where is this going?" you are thinking.
Well lets take a look at what it takes to make an idol. An idol first of all is made by fashioning an image of your "god", your "perfection". It is often times ornately designed and beautifully fashioned out of the most precious of metals.
I used to wonder why God said in the 10 commandments that the Isrealites should have "no graven image before them". I mean... would it not be good to have this graven image that helps remind you of Yahweh! Yet, when Aaron built the idol in the old testament it wasn't long until the earth was opening up and swallowing people.
So whats the problem with idols and what has that got to do with me?
Well idols create several problems. First of all the problem with idols is that they are fashioned/engraven into an unchanging form. The reason God didn't want the Isrealites having an idol is that he did not want to be stuck into acting only by one standard and having only a single facet that they could see him as. The Bible actually refers to God as the Lion of Judah and the Lamb of God all at the same time. If He is in a graven image... He cannot be both.
The second problem with idols is that we create them to be our standard of judgement. Therefore, we live our lives attempting to become an inanimate being. We hold ourselves to unmoving standards and before long create a hardened facade that never changes.
So blah blah blah... what makes this conversation about idols any different from all the others you have heard people talk about.
Well my problem is that I have made a person an idol. I didn't even realize I was doing it. As a matter of fact, anyone in my life that I feel like is a success I idolize them. I begin to put this permanent hardened image on them. I trap them into acting in a singular way and being hardened to my actions. Worship can be such a strange thing. In honoring a person I can actually harm them. That is why God is the only person that is worthy of my worship.
Let me explain. In the particular instance that I am thinking of, I put this person on such a pedastal that they became an idol in my life. I engraved them into being able to take anything, that my actions didn't affect them in any signficant way. That they were "above" me and my petty faults. And in no means is this a shot at them, but they weren't. The way I acted did matter. When I was rude to them it did hurt their feelings. It did bother them.
To build on this, because I made them an idol in my life, I needed to have their approval. I needed them to think that what I did was the "right" thing. I needed them to feed me my identity, my self value, and my worth.
So in a "sick" and "demented" way I would be completely and totally rude to this person while attempting to convince them that I was right. I needed their approval so badly that I hurt them time and time again without even knowing I was doing it. I would argue with them over and over hoping to prove to them that I was right so that they would give me the approval that I so desperately desired.
However, in looking back it wasn't that I was hardened towards them but in my mind I had hardened them towards me. In no way was this their fault. It didn't really even have anything to do with them specifically. It had everything to do with my own insecurity and my need to have their approval.
Since realizing this during this past weekend, I'm realizing more and more that I have idolized alot of people in my life. Probably not to the extent that I did this person, but certain areas of my life. I then strive to get people's approval in the areas that I have engraved them into. Even if it means hurting them, I need them to tell me "yes you did that right". Yes you are right!...
Yeah I know I'm sick... and really I may be one of the only people in the world who has done this... I can't see it at this point in anyone else. But I wanted to share it with you and see if anyone else could identfity at all.
So now I start the long road to recovery with the relationship with this particular person as well as a journey to tear down the other idols in my life.
Thursday, January 18, 2007
Maybe...
There is a Taoist story of an old farmer who had worked his crops for many years. One day his horse ran away. Upon hearing the news, his neighbors came to visit. "Such bad luck," they said sympathetically.
"Maybe," the farmer replied. The next morning the horse returned, bringing with it three other wild horses. "How wonderful," the neighbors exclaimed.
"Maybe," replied the old man. The following day, his son tried to ride one of the untamed horses, was thrown, and broke his leg. The neighbors again came to offer their sympathy on his misfortune. "Maybe," answered the farmer. The day after, military officials came to the village to draft young men into the army. Seeing that the son's leg was broken, they passed him by. The neighbors congratulated the farmer on how well
things had turned out. "Maybe," said the farmer.
This one will make you think. I'm not saying that everything that happens is both good and bad... but maybe... just maybe... we should assess the things that we often think are "bad" or the things that we think are "good" and see if we should say "maybe".
Maybe the spears people throw at us and the attacks that we attribute to "the devil" or "evil" might be sent to strengthen you. Maybe... you are hearing the voices of doubt and frustration louder now than ever because until now you couldn't hear them, this lets you hear them. Maybe... just maybe... things matter in ways you cannot see and may not know.
Maybe. . .
Any "maybe" realizations in your life?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
