Who am I?

The question is up again... I think it's a side effect of change.

Maybe you haven't actually asked yourself this question... but let me offer a few ways to discern how you are identifying yourself.

What do the "voices" say to you? Let me explain. In each of our lives there are "voices" not people... but I personally believe a spiritual voice that comes to attack us and challenge us in our weakest areas. It hits us in our judgement... our measuring system. If it can attack our judgement then it suddenly is setting the standards in our lives and not us or for some of us God.

For example... if you are constantly being challenged and hearing voices that try to tell you that people are against you, and that they are "out to get you", then your judgement system probably has alot to do with how others perceive you. (Obviously I'm over simplifying this for the sake of making a point. Judgement systems are much more complex.) Or maybe you struggle like I do with not feeling like things, people, or my life is ever going to truly change... and "am I really on the cutting edge". This traces back to the fact that I get alot of my self value and and self worth from what I do.

I think that anytime you are hearing those "voices" questioning you, you can trace it back and find that your judgement system is what is being attacked. The way you value things. The way you Evaluate things... is always what the voice is attacking.

So then using the "enemy's" voice as a tool, I want you to ask the question to yourself... "How do I determine who I am?".

Am I evaluating my selfworth based on my talents and how good I am at what I do?
Are you basing your selfworth only on what other people say about you? Are you basing your self worth on whether you "have anything to say"?

There are countless other systems that you could be evaluating yourself by. First write down.. maybe even post... what your value system is and how you are measuring yourself in a positive or negative light, then compare it to how you feel like the authority in your life wants you to evaluate yourself. For some reading this you may consider that authority "God", for others it may simply be a standard of living that you are wanting to have. At any rate, be sure that your evaluation system and the evaluation system of "that" that you want to become are in correct alignment.

If not, then take a season to carefully evaluate how you evaluate. Take the time to gather wisdom on how you should be judging.

Remember also that the way you are judging yourself is actually how you are judging others as well. I truly don't believe there is anything wrong with judging others... so long as you are willing to judge yourself in the same manner. Remember the new testament says "Judge not that you be not judged". If you don't mind being judged by the same standard and by the same set of "evaluatives" then go ahead and even judge others. Just be sure that the system you are measuring by is based on what you want to be judged by... do you want the system of grace and mercy or a system of performance and perfection?

Just some thoughts... do I know who I am? ... nah of course not... I'm not there yet... but I think I'm on the trail. And discovering my personal judgement system is an important step.