I know the religous answer to this question. Yes.... but since we have redefined leaders and followers... once you are a leader and once everything matters can you revert to just not caring? Can you actually will yourself back to a place of merely being a follower?
I guess a better question is AM I AN IDIOT for not being able to just sit back and let what happens happen and me not give any supply whatsoever into it? As a leader when I am put in a situation, not to submit, but to become merely a follower, someone who doesn't give input but merely follows directions I really have trouble doing it. I think because everything I do matters to me, that if I am put in the position to where I cannot at least exert my supply into what I am doing then I have a really really hard time.
Maybe it is just still more of my possesive flesh nature dying out... but I just have a hard time believing that "impotence" in what I do is God's plan for me. Some of this is me venting but I really don't believe that I can be THIS dissatisfied without some deeper reason. But then again maybe I can... Patience is a virtue so I guess I'll know when I'm supposed to know!
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