R-E-S-P-E-C-T

Here is a special guest blog from one of our frequent contributors. If you frequently post comments and think you have something we need to hear here on change addicts either post a comment to this post, or email me! Thanks and enjoy!

-From "Cyn"

My definition – the outward expression of value for someone or something
Wikipedia - Respect is the esteem for or a sense of the worth or excellence of a person, a personal quality or ability, or something considered as a manifestation of a personal quality or ability
Webster’s dictonary - 1 a : to consider worthy of high regard

As children, one of the first life lessons we were taught was “respect your elders.” For me, that meant say “yes ma’am” or “no sir” and don’t talk back to them, don’t argue with them, don’t contradict them, and don’t disobey them. As I got older, it meant they have lived longer than me and are wiser and more experienced than me, therefore know more about life than me. Even in society, we are told to respect peoples’ differences; don’t try to make everyone like you. Recently, as I have been told I need to value people, all people, I was totally clueless as how to do that. I could consciously say, “I value Emilee,” but how did I let her know that, or others know that? I could say it, but if someone said, “prove it,” I would be left speechless.

A few months back, I started on my personal quest to respect others. Before, I really didn’t care for people. Not REALLY care. I cared if they liked me and laughed at my jokes and complimented my clothes or shoes, but I didn’t care about the actual people, so it was real easy for me to backbite and smart off and speak my mind (to the ones I knew wouldn’t call me on it). We’ve heard it before – to get out of one ditch, you’ve got to get all the way in the other ditch. One ditch was just being flat out rude and calling it “not caring what people think about me.” The other ditch was overdoing the “respect others”. If I need to borrow a pen or pencil, I would go out of my way to give it back to the lender before they left the building. Now pens and pencils don’t seem to be a big deal – they’re not that expensive, some of them look exactly the same. But it was a matter of respect. It’s a hard thought process to trace back but if I thought the pen or pencil was valuable enough to need to borrow, and the lender thought I was valuable to lend it to, then I should have some value, if not equal value for the lender to give it back. If I don’t give it back, then there’s the potential if I need a pen on a different occasion, they may not be willing to lend another one. The pen is not the valuable thing; it is the person and the trust of the person who lent me the pen.

This was a new mindset I was trying to build in myself and I had to start small. If I’m faithful in “paying back” the pen, then I can grow to be faithful when someone lends me a pair of shoes (which are more valuable to the lender than the pen is). Then, if I’m faithful with the shoes, then I grow again, so they’ll let me borrow CD’s or DVD’s. As I grow in faithfulness, the person also grows in trust. It can get to the point where if I’m going to take a weekend vacation in the fall to the mountains and the person has a convertible, they have no problem lending me the car because they know I value them, therefore will respect their property and be faithful to return it the same condition it was borrowed in. (I LOVE driving through the mountains in the fall when the leaves are changing in an open vehicle – be a convertible or jeep )

Now value and respect isn’t just about borrowing stuff. My first step just happened to be learning how to value others by respect their stuff. It was the “loudest” expression I could think of to show that I valued people. The next step was being faithful to my word to others. If I told someone that I was going to be somewhere or do something at a certain place and time and I wasn’t able to fulfill that “promise”, I did whatever I had to do to tell that person “I’m not going to make it” or “I’m going to be late” or “I bit off more than I could chew.” It was important to me to let them know that I still valued them, even though I may have messed up.

I still haven’t made it, but I’m starting to crawl out of the other ditch and find the road again.

Step Three: Self-respect…. (To be continued on Monday!)

Change Experiences

One of the most life changing thing I’ve ever done is work with a team. When we first started we were not a team. We were just a group of people fighting for control. There were times I wanted to kill someone. (Yes, Murder in my heart kind of thing.) There were times I wanted to kill everyone. There were times I even wanted to kill myself, (Imagine that) all because I was forced to interact with people that were totally unlike me. God forbid there actually be something wrong with me, that I might need to learn to think differently.

Unfortunately most of us go through life ignoring our own faults. Sure we will admit that we have some faults, but most people never change very much during there life. We have become masters of arguing our point. We think if we win an argument we are right. I’ve won arguments when I was wrong. It didn’t mean I was right. It just meant I argued my point better than the other person.

So what does winning an argument mean? It could mean that you are right or it could mean that you are building a mountain of self deception. It is not the search for truth that matters to us many times but winning the argument, presenting the best case. If I present the best case and I’m wrong I’ve just strengthened my own arrogance.

I may be able to win an argument against one individual, but chances are I will not be able to stand in the face of an entire group of people that are telling me I’m wrong. As I began to interact with the team, my defenses were broken down and I had to look at me for who I really was. Trust me that is easier said than done. I really got to know myself. In getting to know myself I realize that I am beginning to understand others better.

I don’t argue like I used to anymore. My time is not about convincing others that I’m right. It is more about working with others to discover something wonderful and new about myself of someone else. Sometimes that means giving the appearance of arguing in search for the truth, but I don’t argue for the sake of arguing anymore. I’ve never seen arguing convince the other party they were wrong and you were right. It usually just makes the other party mad and they shut you out.

I have started keeping a log of the things I learned about dealing with myself and dealing with others. It was an emotional experience to say the least and I plan to share some of these experiences in the future. For now, I would like to here from anyone who my have similar experiences.

PS This is not a strategy for the court room, but it will help your everyday relationships.

The power of Art!

I'm stark raving consumed!

I realized that there is much more to this techne thing than I even originally thought.

Let me start by backing up. Techne (tek-nae) is a greek word that refered to the art of a thing. Speech had a techne, writing has a techne, virtue has a techne.

From techne we developed english words such as technical, technique, technology.

The problem is that the english translations lost alot in the interpretation. Techne certainly involved specific processes for performing a thing, however it was something much more than that. It was the beauty of the process, the power of the chaotic creations, it was the journey that made the sun itself so majestic (check out Plato for more).

Let me give you an example. Technology and technique give you the specifics of exactly how to do something. You can have the perfect gameplan for winning the superbowl. However, how "beautiful" would the superbowl be, if we played it once a year and just left out all the regular season and post season games. Just pick the two projected best teams and let them play one game. That is what we have made techne into. Life becomes all about the endgame.

However, techne says that the very power of the strategy and of the plan is not in the plan itself but in the journey to get to the plan. It's the beautiful, ugly, chaotic, manic, obsessive process of getting to the superbowl that makes it mean so much. It's the teams that start 0-3 and end up coming back to win the whole shabang! It's the glory of the last second field goals in regular season in the midst of pouring wind and snow that get you the one win you need to get to the playoffs.

We don't pay to see a superbowl, we pay to enjoy the art/techne of the regular season then the post season and then finally the superbowl.

Don't believe me... hide and watch... the World Baseball Championship or whatever the crazy commissioner calls it. It will die a slow painful death, because it has no techne. It's one big event. It doesn't have the backstory, the fullness, the life that a regular US baseball season has.

I'll close by mentioning this. I recently worked to coordinate a youth camp for about 125 people. The structure that we ended up with for the youth camp was unique, however did not technically look that different from many other youth camps. Yet the camp itself was entirely different. It was like no other youth camp ever done. Why? Because of the techne. The back story that went into developing each and every second... not just hour... BUT SECOND... of that camp. The purpose was known, the layers upon layers of ideas that evolved into the structure, the sheer excitement and anticipation of seeing the result of the hard work. THAT IS TECHNE. That is not merely a technical strategy, that is the strategy and all of the latent concepts that are included in building it. That is what we MUST rediscover!

Techne or Techie?

So I have a question regarding yesterday's post.

Do you do things technologically or with a techne. See we have oversimplified the word in America and now technology is seen as mechanical and cold. There isn't any art required to be a techie.

I say REVOLT. NO MORE TECHIES!!! Ok no I'm not saying kill all of the Sci Fi Freaks because I would be at the top of your hit list.

It's bigger than the geeky term techie that we often apply the genre to. No Techies are all around us everyday. They get so caught up and worried about the details that they forget about the art. I watched someone recently who looked worried sick about a great opportunity they had. They wanted to know exactly what all would be needed and when and where and how. Now don't get me wrong, that is all important information. But they never even paused long enough to be excited about the opportunity.

So here are some basic rules on returning to a techne! A spectacular art!

1. EVERYTHING CAN HAVE A TECHNE! - NO MORE TECHIES!

2. Art should be fun, if you aren't having fun break something until it is!

3. Art has passion, AND life, AND excitement. Any one of the three left out and you are more of a techie than a techne-ist!

4. Other people should enjoy your art, even if it is laughing at it.

5. Which brings me to ... You should be able to laugh at your art.

6. Art has color! Not neccesarily red and blue and green, but it has contrast, vibrancy, it "SAYS something" other than what it obviously says.

7. Artists' are FREAKS. Ever met one? The great ones are REAL FREAKS!

8. Artists' are obsessed with detailed but focused on how to make the details fit with the big picture. They know the power of the picture is in the details, but the picture is BIG. They enjoy the big picture and appreciate the details.

So I have one question. Where are you going to stop being a techie and start being a Techne-ist?

ps. yes I know that techne-ist is not a word you will find in the dictionary... got anything better and I'll use it from now on!

Politics - ???

Politics. Such a dirty word today.

Government politics, business politics, office politics, sports politics. Everyone seems to be politicking all the time.

I get tired of politics. Especially when it's actually approval addiction hidden in the guise of politics.

Actually there is nothing wrong with politics. All it is, is the techne(art) of working with the Polis (the city state). The problem is that it is an art and most people are trying to use finger paint.

Others want paint by number.

While others are just throwing buckets of paint.

I've decided that I can't quite "playing" politics, but I can quit throwing buckets. And the next person that throws a bucket at me, I'm gonna use my art skills to paint them.

I'm not mad and vindictive, but I can only play by the rules that other people will allow. Not for my personal life, but for dealing with them. For example, I can't teach an english only speaker by speaking in Japanese. I must use their language and system to gradually teach them a better way. However, that probably means I'm gonna have to take their paint buckets and paint them using my techne until they realize that there has to be a better way. OR until I paint them into something I actually don't want to kill.

MORE POLITICS PLEASE-- BUT LEAVE THE DANGED BUCKETS ALONE!

So what is it all about?

So what is it all about?

Why do you care, why does it matter, why do you do anything, why do you care about leadership, why why why why why!!!!!!

The things that I minimize the most are often the things that I actually think it's all about.

The relationships.

The smiles.

The change.

My God.


my god...what have I become. That I have made the most important things the least important things and the least important things the most important things. I have fallen into the trap of Good things that I preach so defiantly against.

When asked what I would like to be doing in leadership... I really didn't have an answer. You wanna know why? Because I haven't spent enough time with the purpose in doing it to have an answer.

Action without purpose becomes religion. And religion is the deadliest cult in the world. I have managed a way to do things without being things. I can "do" leadership, but I have no idea/awareness of why or really even what I am doing. That's great that I can do those things and I'm not downplaying the gifts I have, but what the heck good are gifts if you have no idea what they are really designed to thrive doing.

I can do the things that support the purpose that I have adopted, but the problem is it's the wrong purpose. It is as success focused. I have created a system that is better than most in that it values failure as success, but it overlooks the purpose behind it all. I'm spending alot of time figuring out how to make the monkey in the water do the right things. I'm literally manipulating myself. Not leading and being.

Because I haven't connected with the TRUE purposes, I don't have the self-discipline of a two year old in the little things in my life. While the little things don't kill me, they do kill me. They are the tiny cracks that have begun to spring up in the foundation I have laid in my life. Weeds are beginning to grow through the cracks. The scary thing is, I have become numb to it. I realize that the problem exists, but because I can't manipulate and control it out of my life, I have resigned myself to live with it. I have become the god of my world, and I refuse to admit that something or someone else might be able to help me.

Understand, this isn't a conscious effort, I don't sit and think about how much I want to control my life. I have become numb and seared to the very things that used to prick my heart. I have resigned myself from higher standards in the name of "grace". The problem is that I am also resigning that grace is weaker than my ability to manipulate myself. Therefore, what is the point.

So, I have no idea where to go from here... which I actually hope is the first step. But I do know that recognizing it is the first step to overcoming it. I will radically manipulate myself I have no doubt, but hopefully in my own manipulative behaviours I will position myself to access the grace that I actually need.

So the question I'm left to ponder and breakdown about is "what is it really all about?" you? them? or Him?

Seth's "When is success, success"

Well I decided not to post today intentionally. I want you to read the attached link that is Seth's blog, but I also want you to take a look back over the last week and slowly read through and think about what was actually said. There was alot of meat to swallow and the only comments I got seemed to be just a few pieces of steak that were stuck in your teeth. Go back and think about them some more. I'm not upset in the least, I just think there was some strong words and deeper meaning hidden behind some of your instant responses. Dig around in them and find something that challenges you. A kick every now and again is good, but I hope you can find a way to methodically digest each post. If you would like... Ask PAUL... he has some great ideas on how to "digest" the posts (Thanks Paul!).


http://sethgodin.typepad.com/seths_blog/2006/09/successful.html

Passionate Action

Ok, after great discussions about passion and on what "matters", I ask a simple simple question. Look at every day for the past week. NOw what % of your time awake did you actually spend doing what you are passionate about? Not talking about it, but doing it. For me it was under 20% of my time. So, functionally that means I am only willing to pay a price of less than 1/5th of my worth for what I say I am passionate about.

What is scary is that I consider myself a highly committed and passionate person. You can only talk for so long before it becomes put up or shut up. So you will hear me increasingly shutting up. Don't worry Change Addicts isn't going away, but I must make BEAING my #1 priority.

Most of us are still caught up in chasing our reflection in the water to use that reflection effectively. For me, I sudeenly recognized that I had my hard head "shoved under the water", looking for the reflection that was me all along.

I know we say EVERYTHING MATTERS, and maybe it does to you, but some things I could care less about. Your opinion of me... I really don't care. So to me it doesn't matter and yet to you it may be very important. As far as I"m concerned, it's not about if it matters or not, it's not about someone talking about what matters, it's not about someone telling me they want accountability, it's about the WHY behind the matter. WHy does it matter, why do you actually care about it, I can care about you because I want you to succeed or I can carea bout you because of what you can do for me, both make you matter, but they will illicit VERY different reactions. It is the WHY that is the $64 million dollar question.

To summarize; PURPOSE is everything, BEING is everything, DOING is everything.

Yes that means that you cannot seperate purpose, being, and doing as far as reality is concerned. THEY ARE THE SAME THING. I'm tired of takling about potential, I'm tired of talking about where I will be one day, the thing that is most important (as of today) is TODAY! Tommorow will take care of itself, I will take care of today, the purpose in my being and doing today! The Being that dictates my doing and is built on the structure of my purpose. And the Doing that is a direct indication of my perceived purpose and my actual being.

GET OUT OF FINDING THE REFLECTION, GET OUT OF TALKING ABOUT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE, and just start DOING!

What are you following?

What are the characteristics are of a leader? What is the personality of a leader? What is the purpose of a leader? What is leadership? These are just a few of the questions that I have heard numerous people ask numerous times. I believe that these are good questions. However if you try to answer these questions and then conform to the answer, it is possible to lose who you are in the process of becoming a leader. In other words, we have a lot of cookie cutter leaders. There should never be another John Maxwell. There is no need for another John Maxwell. I agree the world needs leaders, but we do not need John Maxwells. We need people who understand their purpose and apply leadership principles to accomplish their purpose.

If I ask the question, why do you want to be a leader, I would get all kinds of noble answers. Answers such as, I want to effect my generation; change my world; leave this world different when I’m gone. These are good answers, but most of the time they are not the real answers. Most people will not tell you their pursuit of leadership is to get the advantage over you so they can have control. Some will, but most will not. I know you could argue with me over the fact that wanting control can be a person’s purpose. When I talk about purpose I’m talking about that thing that you were made for, your design. When you find your purpose and start fulfilling it, you will effect your generation; change your world and leave this world different when you’re gone.

The greatest leaders are the best followers and servants. They serve in whatever station of life they find themselves. The King has many servants. Each servant has their station of service. The king however is the greatest servant. His charge is to serve the people. The servant who serves the king has one or two responsibilities that they bear the burden of. The king bears the weight of the entire kingdom and its people. So who carries the most weight of responsibility in serving?

None of us are here without purpose, but we abuse our lives because we don’t understand our purpose. (If you do not understand the purpose of something, you will abuse it.) We abuse the principles of leadership to serve ourselves rather than accomplishing our purpose.

If you want the ability to recognize a leader, it’s not hard. Look in front of yourself and see who you are following. If you look up and see you are not following anyone, then look behind you there is probably no one following you. I am a follower. I know what to look for in the people I follow. I look for character, integrity, and a servants heart?

More appropriately I believe the questions should be, what are the characteristics of the leader in front of me? What is the personality of the leader in front of me? What is the purpose of the leader in front of me? You will become like what or who you follow.

What are you following?

does it matter?

It occurs to me that in matters both great and small, everything matters. You might think that they don’t but rest assured they do. I can of course only speak for myself, but curiously enough I have observed similar patterns in the lives of others also. What matters to me may not matter to you, but nonetheless it still matters. With varying weights and measures we all count the cost and prioritize our life daily. We also reap the benefits and the rewards of the things we give our time to. Our time is an investment in what we give it to. Time is, as they say, money. With that said, maybe we should ask some of our questions differently. If time is really money, how much money do I give my spouse, friends, family, work, business, and God? At the end of the day who has the most money? Does it matter?

It's all about the BE!

Over the past couple of days I've noticed an epidemic. People who are still looking for the way to know? How do you know anything in life?

Yeah it seems like such a simple question... until you try to practically apply it.

How do I know the sky is blue... well my eyes perceive it that way, yet where can you show me the blue in the sky? Can you grab it and put it in my hand? What if the sky is red? You say it isn't, yet I've seen it look very red before. So which is it... blue or red?

It's the flaw of the human condition. It's being locked into our perception being reality. It is the inevitability of the fact that we are finite and our minds are finite... and you will never arrive.

That is why we look for ten steps to know if what people think about us is what God thinks about us. That is why we look for someone to show us the "way to live". To some extent it is even why read this blog. We think that there is a higher way to live that we can "know".

Now, before you start yelling heretic and calling for me to be burned at the stake let me finish.

The fact is that “knowing” is a problem for us. Being is much more accurate. If you “know” something then it is describable, it has distinct limitations, it can be put into a little box by the parameters your mind puts around it. Being on the other hand is an entirely different story.

Don’t get me wrong… I strong believe that knowing is an important first step towards being, but the problem is that it is only a step. I’ll end with this story and write more about it later.

There once was this little monkey. This little monkey went down to the waterhole with his mother one day. It was the first time he had ever been to the big pond! He was so excited. He ran down to the water’s edge and peered in.

He scrambled back in surprise at the little monkey on the surface of the water staring back at him! He looked and looked from a distance but the little monkey was gone. Finally, he built up enough courage to move back to the water’s edge… and boom there it was again. Determined to be a brave monkey he held his ground. He waved and as he did the monkey in the water waved at the same time. He smiled and so did the other monkey. The little monkey started getting frustrated at this copy cat in the water. He moved quickly trying to surprise the monkey in the water but to no avail, the monkey in the water mimicked him exactly. All of this mimicking made the little monkey very angry. He smacked the monkey as hard as he could.

Sure enough the monkey disappeared. The little monkey beamed at his superiority until suddenly he looked down and there the monkey was again. He smacked the water again… and once again after a moment or two he re-appeared.

Finally, after his failure the little monkey became intrigued. He could not figure out where this new monkey came from and why he couldn’t get to him. He was also baffled that when he felt like he should be the closest to the little monkey that he ended up being the farthest away. The monkey would even disappear.

He pondered all of this for a while and with his dogged tenacity decided that he would not be made a fool of any longer by this monkey. He chased it all over the waterhole running hard after it, thinking that he must just barely be missing it, but time after time it would disappear in the thrashing waters. Finally, in disgust he gave up and plopped down backwards to sit in the cold water. As usual the monkey appeared again.

Totally fed up with disgust, the little monkey had an idea. He plunged his head under the water, bound, bent, and determined to find the monkey. He held his head under longer and longer and longer… so bullheaded was the little monkey that he took a deep breath of the water… just knowing that it must be safe since the other monkey did it.

As he lay there drowning his lungs filled with the murky water… he cursed the monkey that he never could find.


That’s why it has to matter and not matter… stop searching and start being… It’s much more fulfilling.

It doesn't matter...

It Matters - It's much more serious than you think.

Cleaning my room - It Doesn't Matter
Keeping Track of my Finances - It Doesn't Matter
Shaving each morning - It Doesn't Matter
Dressing Nicely - It Doesn't Matter
How I treat my significant other - It Doesn't Matter
The Relationships I pursue - It Doesn't Matter
The Success - It Doesn't Matter
The Failure - It Doesn't Matter
How clean I keep my truck - It Doesn't Matter
If I keep my shoes, tied, shined, and which ones I wear - It Doesn't Matter
What I hear on teh (the) radio - It Doesn't Matter
Typos - They Don't Matter
What time I get to work - It Doesn't Matter
What time I go to bed - It Doesn't Matter
What I look at on my computer - It Doesn't Matter
Thank you notes - They Don't Matter
How I use my time at work - It Doesn't Matter
Where I eat - It Doesn't Matter
What I eat - It Doesn't Matter
How much I eat - It Doesn't Matter
How I manage my time - It Doesn't Matter
What I think Matters - It Doesn't Matter.


What doesn't matter to you?

See the pendulum continues to swing. The key is not in whether or not they matter or don't matter... it's WHY they matter. Jo, you hit it with your post. I was wanting someone to say exactly what you did! Stop saying things matter... when you can't explain why they matter. Because everything that mattered three days ago also didn't matter three days ago. It's the why behind the matters that gives the value.

Think of every action as a currency. The dollar bill you hold in your hand when you pay for your lunch... it really isn't worth anything. Yet it is worth everything... it's the actual gold behind the dollar bill that gives it its value, not the paper and green ink that make it up. The actions you take each day, they mean nothing void of the why behind them! Don't worry Andy... I still think they matter... I just think they also don't matter.

That is why I can't give you 10 things to care about that will make you a passionate person... you better find the passion for yourself and you won't have any trouble finding a million things that matter! I can help you refine the things that you think matter... but I can't find the things that matter to you!

SO... what matters to you... what doesn't matter.... WHY???!!!

Sanders Says!

Finally,

One of my favorite speakers and authors has his own blog. Check out Sanderssays.com. Tim Sanders the guy who looks 22 but is really over 40 and by the way happened to be the head honcho at Yahoo, finally has his own blog. This guy is intense, you better be ready for some "love" from Tim. He will give you some practical and effective advice, and he has some amazing comment contributors. Definitely a weekly read here!

Let me know what you think!

Steve Irwin... The Freak!

Steve Irwin… too passionate? Yep.

Steve Irwin… too passionate? Nope.

Better know your values system.

Are you here to die for your cause, or live for it?

Most people are all for passion as long as it’s what you live for. But what about when it becomes what you die for? Can you still be passionate then?

It’s the FREAKS who rule the world. Steve Irwin… Freak. Soichiro Honda… Freak. Tiger Woods… Freak. Michael Jordan… Freak. Hitler… Freak. Tom Peters… Freak. Jesus Christ… Freak. Columbus…Freak. Jack Welch… Freak. Jimmy Hendrix… Freak. Da Vinci… Freak. Julius Caesar… Freak.

When was the last time someone called you a freak? If they haven’t… then are you really passionate? I don’t mean freak in a good light. I mean when was the last time someone told you that you are absolutely insane. Soichiro Honda… shows up at board meetings drunk and naked… CAR FREAK. Tiger Woods… grows up without any kind of life at all except for holding a golf club… GOLF FREAK. Hitler… Kills 6 million people with insane efficiency while motivating 50 million more… PSYCHO FREAK! Jimmy Hendrix… mimics sexual relations on stage with his Guitar and mocks the national anthem… FREAK. Da Vinci… Dreams up thousands of ideas that are centuries ahead of their time only to become demented, possessed, and obsessive…FREAK! Julius Caesar… Marches on his own hometown with a full army in order to take over… FREAK! Steve Irwin… Gets stabbed in the heart by a sting ray while swimming with the oceans deadliest animals, for an uncountable number of times… CONSERVATIONIST FREAK!

I’m not justifying FREAK behavior… I’M SAYING IT RULES THE DANGED WORLD! (YES I SAID DANGED!).

Don’t copy Freaks, that just makes you an idiot. Become a FREAK… that makes you a leader. The world needs more obsessive, compulsive, A.D.D., insanely odd people! Raise your freak bar… and hurry up about it!

Please FREAK out!

It Matters. . .

I'll give you my reply on Steve's Passion Tomorrow, instead I have something burning in me today.


It Matters - It's much more serious than you think.

Cleaning my room - It Matters
Keeping Track of my Finances - It Matters
Shaving each morning - It Matters
Dressing Nicely - It Matters
How I treat my significant other - It Matters
The Relationships I pursue - It Matters
The Success - It Matters
The Failure - It Matters
How clean I keep my truck - It Matters
If I keep my shoes, tied, shined, and which ones I wear - It Matters
What I hear on teh (the) radio - It Matters
Typos - They Matter
What time I get to work - It Matters
What time I go to bed - It Matters
What I look at on my computer - It Matters
Thank you notes - They Matter
How I use my time at work - It Matters
Where I eat - It Matters
What I eat - It Matters
How much I eat - It Matters
How I manage my time - It Matters
What I think Matters - It Matters.


What matters to you?

Tell me more? Was Steve too passionate?

Ok, I’ve had some great responses, but not enough!

Let me give a little more reference. Was Steve Irwin (the crocodile hunter) too passionate?

I know what I think and I am holding onto my thoughts for now, you’ll know them soon enough. TELL ME MORE!!!!

Just a simple question...

I have a simple question and I want some answers...

Is there such a thing as being too passionate? ... Fire away!

Some of the Best from the Best

In light of reaching our 50th post, I thought I would share with the rest of the non-detailed world (ie those of you who don't read the comments) some of the greatest thoughts on some of our previous posts. I'll start with more recent posts and work backwards... to get the full effect you will need to go back and read the post and the comments in context.


More prevalent than AIDS and more rampant than Bird Flu… CEO DISEASE!
wife of paul said...
I think one of our biggest problems on this subject is we think we "know" ourselves. We were brought up to be a certain way, we conformed to the norm in school, we believed the crap that our "friends" spewed out about us, we had a list of people we had to get approval from and somewhere in that mix we either lost who we really were, or in most cases we never even had the chance to know who we really were to begin with.


I’m A Lustful Person Part 2
Em said...
The only people that make any kind of impression on me are the passionate ones. I have never really thought about it, but the only people I even remember are the ones who are different. What could be more important...me becoming who I am, loving what I love so passionately that others see it, and are changed by it. My goal, my heart, is for me to fulfill by purpose, but more than that for others to fulfill their purpose. And how do you do that? I don't remember hearing of a book that will tell the you the 12 steps to making others a success. If I am truly doing what I was sent here to do, I really do believe it will leave an impression on others, without me having to say anything. I will not have to write a book about my life, or go around announcing my passions to everyone, being who I was designed to be will be sufficent.
I am only getting frustated now, because lanuage is limiting in trying to convey what I am feeling. I am just going to be me, continue to grow and change, pursue my purpose, no matter what the cost. That is all I have to offer.

Anonymous said...
The way I see it is there are over 6 billion people on the planet, 99.9% of which are doing the same thing. Why not be different? Obviously, if what 6 billion people were doing was the RIGHT thing, the world would look nothing like it does now. I think one lie we sometimes fall prey to is that "there's no room for me and my idea". That's idiocy. There's no room for "just another idea", but your passion about what you represent will make room for it!

wife of paul said...
Lust is defined as "an intense longing or craving," or "to have an intense desire or need." Passion in and of itself is not what we strive for. Some people say they want or need more passion, but really passion is not what we are ultimately after. It's what we have the strong desire for, what we crave, and what we need that actually fuels our passion. If you think about it, the people with the most passion are always looking for something more, they draw from those around them, they grow, they change. But those with little or no passion always seem to be the ones that "have all the answers" and never feel the need to pursue something or someone greater than themselves. Or on the opposite end of the spectrum, those who are so glum and "woe is me" all the time. Both only focus on themselves. I think to have passion, to truly have passion, is when what you desire and crave and need ultimately is not about you, it is about those around you. It is about the things you want to do. The things you want to change. Many of the things that I am passionate about have little or no benefit to me. It is seeing those passions come into reality that is the reward. It is seeing an entire third world nation change
that is the reward. It is establishing God's kingdom in a territory that has been the most backward in that state that is the reward. To me, my passions are not about what I strive for for myself, they are about what I lay myself down for in order to achieve. That is how I determine passion.

There were more great ones on this post... check them out!


There isn't room for all the angry, intense, and thoughtful comments on these posts... you will just have to backtrack and check them out.... this is GREAT STUFF!!!

Putting Passionate People in Purposeful Systems - pt 1

Lay down, shut up, and die!

Monday, July 24, 2006 (check the archives)
Angry people rule the world!
- This one got some passion stirred up.



I want to conclude by saying thank you to all of you guys who read and leave your mark here. Your comments inspire and push me on to greater things and more posts. The way I see it, there is no "wrong answers" in the posts... yes sometimes I think you are very wrong in what you say, but the fact of the matter is the comment is how you feel. Your feelings may not be right, but they are your feelings. I love to deal with what is really in you and see if we can work through things together, so that we all come out as something greater and stronger! Thank you all for your comments and for sharing your heart... and KEEP ON CHANGING!

Happy 50th Post Change Addicts!

I want to take today and celebrate the fact that this is officially our 50th post here on change addicts. It has been so much fun seeing the site grow as well as seeing the amazing ideas that come from each and every one of you. I believe that what has begun here is a mere taste of what is to come. I can see this post becoming the "go to" place for an entire generation of change addicts. I can see this very blog setting the pace for businesses, governments, and artists, I can see blogs coming out of this blogs, authors from my commenters, and most importantly a lasting multi-generational fire that ignites here.

However, this fire is not about me, and I cannot carry it alone. I want to ask you if you are a carrier of change? Apostle David Coker says that there are 5 stages of any "vision". The first stage is the Entrance stage. This stage is where the people become introduced to it. They find out about the vision. They can see some of the outward expression of the vision.

The Second stage is the pioneering stage. I believe presently as far as this blog is concerned, we are at this stage. We are beginning to settle the land of change addicts. We are launching out into new areas and beginning to establish ourselves.

The last 3 stages which are still to come for us are the Building Level, which is rooted in Expansion, Growth, and "mastery". This is where Change Addicts will begin to see it's style, pattern, and structure more clearly. It will be an architectural stage. A planning for future multiplication. Pieces of this stage have already begun.

Finally, are THE VOICE and GOVERNING stages. These are still somewhat distant to us, however, still not so far away. We will explore more on them as we approach them. Understand that each of us are at different places in this continuum according to the pattern and vision that we are following and connected to. When I say we are at the Pioneering stage, I am talking only about change addicts as a web site.

The fact is that ultimately the success and failure of this blog is not in my hands. It is in yours. You are the ones who have the access to lead your world. You are the one that can begin to become the carrier of this message. It's not about this website become the largest in the world, it's about the voice and the message we carry becoming one of the loudest that is out there. However, I cannot carry this alone. I need people who can carry the weight of this message, who will pioneer, and break new ground, who will see to it that their friends, their enemies, and every leader or potential leader they encounter can has access to a voice for change, for debate, and for purpose.

I hereby give each of you the response-ability for making this message known worldwide. I can't wait to see what happens.

Normally, this is where the tele-evangelist or the mda-athon would ask for money, however I don't want your money (yet...lol). Instead I merely ask that you find ways to promote change through promoting this blog and the thoughts on it, to every friend, enemy, and leader that you encounter!

Thanks for 50 great posts and I look for MANY MANY MORE TO COME!!!

KEEP ON CHANGING!
KEN

More prevalent than AIDS and more rampant than Bird Flu… CEO DISEASE!

As leaders in organizations it is often easy to fall prey to CEO Disease. This is a disease that can cause a multitude of side effects and a disease that few of us are immune to. Our television based society has pre-disposed … maybe the more accurate word is pre-conditioned , our thought processes to a particular way of “knowing”.

To display this, let me use a more obvious example. Last week we remembered the anniversary of Hurricane Katrina. Let me ask you a few questions. Which city did Katrina devastate? Who did Katrina hurt the most? If you had to name who failed in Katrina, who would it be?

Most would say New Orleans… when actually many cities in Mississippi were damaged as badly if not worse. Katrina probably hurt the Mississippi families and the fishing industry the most. And if we want to know who failed with Katrina, I would say it was the news media for doing an ineffective pre-strike job of motivating people to get out.

That just goes to show that we don’t always get the right skinny from the “people on the scene”. I’m not saying all of those answers have to be 100% correct, but most of us wouldn’t even think of them, and they certainly aren’t invalid.

Now, How did you “know” those things? The fact of the matter is that the majority of us got our information from the news media. This is not a rant about how terrible our news media is (although they are… even the good ones). Instead, I want to point out the inherent flaws that television has brought to our mental constructs of “knowing”.

During Katrina, and since, we have received all of our information through a flawed medium. The medium causes an ignorance of “knowing”. We think because we can see it, then we “know” about it. It’s the problem of RE-presentation. We see a digital 2 dimensional image of about 2 or 3 blocks and think we can “understand”. We hear emotional stories from people walking out of the water and think we empathize. We think that Anderson Cooper of CNN or even Shepherd Smith of FOX News will keep us “in the know”. We are suddenly “live on the scene” from a thousand miles away. When actually we have NO IDEA what the real situation is like. We can’t fathom it. We can’t even come close to being able to be empathic with it.

So why am I posting about this on change addicts?

Because although TV shows it and probably created it, the arrogant mental constructs of “knowing” have carried over into every area of leadership.

We “think” we “know”. In our top down leadership approach, we think we have a full picture by looking at a “sales report” or from even a direct report’s observations. Now don’t get me wrong, I hate being micromanaged and I refuse to do it, but I am all about encouraging MBWA (managing by wandering around).

Empathy is crap, until you’ve actually been there. I’m not discounting empathy, but how can you empathize with someone on the scale and magnitude of Katrina if you have never been through it. You can “feel” like you have experienced it, when really you have just seen an outside image from thousands of miles away.

Figure it out today! People you think you “know” you may not and the only way to “know” them is to go find out for yourself.

Am I saying that you have to live through every single experience to understand it? Of course not, but it certainly helps if you have at least seen the environment directly and have an understanding of the landscape.

Who or what do you think you "know", that you really probably have only seen snapshots and images of? List 3 now!