Empty Words

What is excitement to you?

Is it positive feelings? Is it contagious enthusiasm? Is it passion?

If so what is enthusiasm... what is passion?

Ever notice how our words get in the way! We often attach our vocabulary to the circumstances and not to the root of the word. For example; I can be excited about getting ice cream and I can be excited about getting married... hopefully those two things are actually different meanings. Our language is so abstract. It does not connect or communicate, it summarizes.

Imagine with me for a moment... close your eyes... Dog... what kind of dog did you see? I saw a dalmation, some of you I'm sure saw a chocolate lab, while others pictured a beautiful cocker spaniel, while others pictured the mutt that keeps tearing up your flower bed. See how empty our words are. That word really had no concrete meaning to you. It simply gave you a referent to a concept but did nothing for defining the concept.

Thus the challenge of true communication. Just think, if 80% of communication is non-verbal and we can't even get the 20% that is verbal to be on the same page... it's no wonder we have no communication.

So how do we overcome our abstractions, our incongruent histories, and our divisive language? It begins in "real-ationship". The earth relates to the sun in a specific orbit, the light over my computer monitor to the keyboard in specific ways. If I can understand the relationship, then I can understand the concept.

If you have challenges with communication, you might need to check on the level of your relationship. Relationship is not friendship, nor is it talking, nor is it spending time with one another. While these may play parts in building relationships, relationship is an understanding of the "real" orientation between two things. The relationship I have with my girlfriend is not based on how great a person I think she is, but on how I see her relating to me and how I relate to her.

THIS DOES NOT MEAN HOW I CAN USE HER. This means that I have a deeper understanding of how she really fits with my life and what that relationship or her orientation causes to manifest in me. Ie. The earth circles the sun because the graviational forces that exist between the two bring a centering and balancing orientation to it.

Therefore, if we want to learn to communicate better in our workplaces, our personal lives, and ultimately with God, then we must find our "real-lationship" (our real orientation) to those areas of our lives. I must know what frustrates me about God. I must know what I don't like and why I don't like it. I must be willing to ask questions when my relationship/orientation to a person or concept does not seem to match the expectation of that person or concept.

This means that often I'm not going to know how to real-late to people. This means I'm going to have to show my ignorance about how people are really designed and made, this means I must find a way to value people beyond the orientation I have to them and begin to value them through an orientation that reveals their REAL value to not only my destiny but God's eternal purpose. Ultimately, it means I have to ask other people questions that I don't have the answers to because I need to know their orientation/relationship to a thing (me).

Remember, ultimately all of our communication becomes clouded with noise and has no real connection to reality. It is merely a summary, a packet of language that tries to re-present the real. Only REAL RELATIONSHIP (real-ationship) can create significant meaning, purposeful/useful communication, and empower us to be effective leaders!