One of the most life changing thing I’ve ever done is work with a team. When we first started we were not a team. We were just a group of people fighting for control. There were times I wanted to kill someone. (Yes, Murder in my heart kind of thing.) There were times I wanted to kill everyone. There were times I even wanted to kill myself, (Imagine that) all because I was forced to interact with people that were totally unlike me. God forbid there actually be something wrong with me, that I might need to learn to think differently.
Unfortunately most of us go through life ignoring our own faults. Sure we will admit that we have some faults, but most people never change very much during there life. We have become masters of arguing our point. We think if we win an argument we are right. I’ve won arguments when I was wrong. It didn’t mean I was right. It just meant I argued my point better than the other person.
So what does winning an argument mean? It could mean that you are right or it could mean that you are building a mountain of self deception. It is not the search for truth that matters to us many times but winning the argument, presenting the best case. If I present the best case and I’m wrong I’ve just strengthened my own arrogance.
I may be able to win an argument against one individual, but chances are I will not be able to stand in the face of an entire group of people that are telling me I’m wrong. As I began to interact with the team, my defenses were broken down and I had to look at me for who I really was. Trust me that is easier said than done. I really got to know myself. In getting to know myself I realize that I am beginning to understand others better.
I don’t argue like I used to anymore. My time is not about convincing others that I’m right. It is more about working with others to discover something wonderful and new about myself of someone else. Sometimes that means giving the appearance of arguing in search for the truth, but I don’t argue for the sake of arguing anymore. I’ve never seen arguing convince the other party they were wrong and you were right. It usually just makes the other party mad and they shut you out.
I have started keeping a log of the things I learned about dealing with myself and dealing with others. It was an emotional experience to say the least and I plan to share some of these experiences in the future. For now, I would like to here from anyone who my have similar experiences.
PS This is not a strategy for the court room, but it will help your everyday relationships.
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Working with a team, for an independant self motivator like myself, was the most...um how can I put this...torturoues experience in my life. I am forced to trust others, trust myself to let go, and to finally trust God that everything is going to be okay. I am the type of person that needs to be backed into a corner and given no other options before I will do something this painful. (Death is always painful.) That is exactly what has happened to me this year. I have been put into various circumstances and situations which required me to release control. I made a choice. I started the life long journey of dying to myself in order that ultimatetly, His plan would be fulfilled. It was a CHOICE. I decided to be a part of a team, let other people get in my face and my "junk", confront me when I was acting stupid, pick up my slack, and move towards one purpose instead of what I thought was the purpose. All I am trying to express is this, "Being on a team with people you did NOT choose, will kill you. It will kill your selfish pride, it will kill your jealous nature, it will kill your high and mighty attitude. And on the other side, you will look more like Christ than ever before. And then the process will just continue. I make a CHOICE to die."
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