Friday, September 29, 2006

R-E-S-P-E-C-T

Here is a special guest blog from one of our frequent contributors. If you frequently post comments and think you have something we need to hear here on change addicts either post a comment to this post, or email me! Thanks and enjoy!

-From "Cyn"

My definition – the outward expression of value for someone or something
Wikipedia - Respect is the esteem for or a sense of the worth or excellence of a person, a personal quality or ability, or something considered as a manifestation of a personal quality or ability
Webster’s dictonary - 1 a : to consider worthy of high regard

As children, one of the first life lessons we were taught was “respect your elders.” For me, that meant say “yes ma’am” or “no sir” and don’t talk back to them, don’t argue with them, don’t contradict them, and don’t disobey them. As I got older, it meant they have lived longer than me and are wiser and more experienced than me, therefore know more about life than me. Even in society, we are told to respect peoples’ differences; don’t try to make everyone like you. Recently, as I have been told I need to value people, all people, I was totally clueless as how to do that. I could consciously say, “I value Emilee,” but how did I let her know that, or others know that? I could say it, but if someone said, “prove it,” I would be left speechless.

A few months back, I started on my personal quest to respect others. Before, I really didn’t care for people. Not REALLY care. I cared if they liked me and laughed at my jokes and complimented my clothes or shoes, but I didn’t care about the actual people, so it was real easy for me to backbite and smart off and speak my mind (to the ones I knew wouldn’t call me on it). We’ve heard it before – to get out of one ditch, you’ve got to get all the way in the other ditch. One ditch was just being flat out rude and calling it “not caring what people think about me.” The other ditch was overdoing the “respect others”. If I need to borrow a pen or pencil, I would go out of my way to give it back to the lender before they left the building. Now pens and pencils don’t seem to be a big deal – they’re not that expensive, some of them look exactly the same. But it was a matter of respect. It’s a hard thought process to trace back but if I thought the pen or pencil was valuable enough to need to borrow, and the lender thought I was valuable to lend it to, then I should have some value, if not equal value for the lender to give it back. If I don’t give it back, then there’s the potential if I need a pen on a different occasion, they may not be willing to lend another one. The pen is not the valuable thing; it is the person and the trust of the person who lent me the pen.

This was a new mindset I was trying to build in myself and I had to start small. If I’m faithful in “paying back” the pen, then I can grow to be faithful when someone lends me a pair of shoes (which are more valuable to the lender than the pen is). Then, if I’m faithful with the shoes, then I grow again, so they’ll let me borrow CD’s or DVD’s. As I grow in faithfulness, the person also grows in trust. It can get to the point where if I’m going to take a weekend vacation in the fall to the mountains and the person has a convertible, they have no problem lending me the car because they know I value them, therefore will respect their property and be faithful to return it the same condition it was borrowed in. (I LOVE driving through the mountains in the fall when the leaves are changing in an open vehicle – be a convertible or jeep )

Now value and respect isn’t just about borrowing stuff. My first step just happened to be learning how to value others by respect their stuff. It was the “loudest” expression I could think of to show that I valued people. The next step was being faithful to my word to others. If I told someone that I was going to be somewhere or do something at a certain place and time and I wasn’t able to fulfill that “promise”, I did whatever I had to do to tell that person “I’m not going to make it” or “I’m going to be late” or “I bit off more than I could chew.” It was important to me to let them know that I still valued them, even though I may have messed up.

I still haven’t made it, but I’m starting to crawl out of the other ditch and find the road again.

Step Three: Self-respect…. (To be continued on Monday!)

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

As a Judge enters the courtroom, everyone stands until he is seated on the Bench. It's an outward form of respect toward a man that has paid a price and has been placed in that position of authority at that particular time and place. So, where has my respect for other people gone? Yeah, I do have to start somewhere; and for me it's just the way I view someone or a situation. -Because when the story is finally told, the only person that can disrespect me, is ME! The other person IS my value. (So, I be disrespecting myself a whole lot lately) :)